A Hernando County Home Birth Story | Spring Hill Home Birth Midwifery

“I never planned on having children. In fact, I never really WANTED to. Fear was paramount to that decision. Fear of failure. Fear of uncertainty. Fear of change. And yes, fear of childbirth itself. (I mostly blame Hollywood for that last one.) But, things change. I met a man who restored my faith in love and family and who loves me endlessly...so I married him. We made plans for a future that included children. I was feeling confident and ready. I was no longer halted by fear. We started trying to conceive immediately, but 4 years and countless negative pregnancy tests later, I started to wonder if the universe had been listening while I so adamantly declared my lack of interest in motherhood. I felt culpable. My husband always knew he wanted to be a father. It was his dream above all else. I felt like I manifested infertility with my insistence that I would never have children. Then, finally, one test proved me wrong. My husband woke up to find me sitting on our bed weeping happily. No words were spoken, but he knew the reason for my tears, and he joined me. A thing I never thought I wanted had become something I needed more than anything. Following a beautiful pregnancy and birth experience with Barefoot Birth, I have a healthy, wonderful little boy who has his Mama's smile! Honestly, I was surprised at how much enjoyment I found in the process. It was incredibly empowering. I had conquered my fears!

Then 2020 happened, and brought with it a global pandemic, civil unrest, workplace shutdowns and loss of income. I also found myself dealing with significant stress factors in my personal life. Due to some unfortunate circumstances, I had recently moved my ailing parents into my very small and now very crowded house. It was certainly not the most ideal time to see a blue "plus sign" on a home pregnancy test. All those long forgotten fears came flooding back. Still, I was happy. After all, there was going to be a new baby to love! A seed of hope.

I shared the news of my pregnancy with Erica at Barefoot and excitedly started making appointments for care. Knowing that I would have her on my team again for my second pregnancy and birth journey helped restore my confidence.

The 40 weeks and 1 day leading up to the birth of my daughter were exciting and sometimes challenging. We had quite a scare early on when an ultrasound technician (oh so delicately) used the phrase "I see nothing." while pointing to an image of my uterus, and then told me to come back in a month. After four very long weeks with "I see nothing" echoing in my head, I had another sonogram. This time, I heard my baby's heartbeat! I saw her tiny figure. She had been there all along!

I started care with Barefoot Birth right away. My visits really meant so much more to me during this pregnancy. Even though I tried to hide it, to ignore it, the fear was there all the while. Things had been so tense and emotional already and I needed to find some calm.

Having both attended the birth of my son, Erica and Bennett are very special to me. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for them and for what they do. The selflessness alone is astounding. They show up for our births regardless of the time of day or night, in spite of having lives and families of their own. It was so reassuring to have such knowledgeable, dedicated, and passionate ladies in my corner. They understand that a healthy pregnancy doesn't begin and end with the fetus. These women actually CARE for other women...not just in a clinical sense.

Overall, my pregnancy was uncomplicated and enjoyable. My little girl was strong and active throughout. So strong. The movements within my tummy became a constant source of entertainment. We saw Erica regularly, learning new things with every visit. We prepared our birth plan. Assembled our birth kit. Tried to educate our 3 year old about the coming changes. Readied ourselves for the big day. Then we waited. And waited. Aaaand waited. We were eager to meet our baby girl and by 40 weeks, I was tired of waiting. At my last scheduled visit, Erica asked how I was feeling about my pregnancy (as if she didn't already know)...and I fell apart. I was exhausted and frustrated. I was still facing major inconveniences with my living situation, and I wanted nothing more than to have the pleasure of holding my baby. I deserved to hold her. Erica told me it was okay to be frustrated, "you've never been THIS pregnant before" she said. She believed the baby and I were both ready physically, but that mentally and emotionally, maybe I needed to sort some things out before I could confidently go into labor. Her intuition was spot on.

Child birth, in my opinion, should be very personal and profound. I needed space. I needed privacy. That night, my sweet, passive husband put his foot down and sent my folks to a hotel for a week. With our nest cleared out, I felt a much needed calm wash over me, and within hours, contractions started. At first, they were very sporadic and almost indistinguishable from the cramping I had been experiencing from lightening. The next morning, I was sure I'd be holding my baby before the day was over. Contractions remained very sporadic for most of the day and didn't seem to be getting closer together, but they were intense. A quick call to Erica and I learned about prodromal labor. Great. More waiting. And with intense contractions as a super fun bonus.

I stopped trying to time my contractions and did my best to ignore them and rest as advised. It was a struggle to relax, but I must have been so focused on ignoring the pain, that I didn't notice my contractions were, eventually, coming more frequently. Rhythmically. I was lying in bed, hugging a pillow when I finally realized that THIS WAS IT. It HAD to be active labor. I asked my husband to call Erica again. He told her that we needed her here, but if she couldn't make it we could just go to the hospital. It seems a ridiculous notion now, but in those moments, I was desperate and knew I was quickly approaching the second stage of labor. I climbed into a hot bath and tried to lose myself in thought. It worked for a while. Then came the urge to push. My husband called Erica again, who luckily, was a mere 3 minutes away. I'm pretty sure she broke land speed records to get here.

As always, I was greeted with a "Hi Mama! How are we feeling?" 💗

"I feel like I'm ready to push." was about all I could muster. So I pushed. No time to fill the birth tub. No time to start my birth playlist. After all the planning and waiting, now things were moving at lightning speed. The bathtub was too confining, so thankfully there had been just enough time to prep my bed.

With Erica and my husband standing by, I continued to push, receiving constant reassurance and even compliments. Still, I was holding back a little. Erica must have sensed my hesitation (there's that incredible intuition again) and actually spoke the words "Jessica, don't be afraid of her. You're about to meet your baby." Whoa. She knew EXACTLY what I needed to hear! It became my mantra. In an instant, I went to that primal place that makes the impossible possible. I felt fierce. Erica triggered a ferocity within me and I was overcome. From that moment forward, I was compelled by pure instinct. The few remaining pushes were later described as "organic".

Then, there she was. My baby. My little girl. The one I had been so anxious to meet, but so afraid to bring into this crazy world. And she was worth the wait.”